Category: Satire

Man Solves Gas Prices By Asking “Why Doesn’t the Government Always Make Them This Low?”

Man Solves Gas Prices By Asking “Why Doesn’t the Government Always Make Them This Low?”

Satire- May 17, 2016

Government officials everywhere are reassessing their approach to setting gas prices after local Newark resident, Timothy Fein, asked the question, “Why doesn’t the government always ...

Tour Guide Persuades Prospective Student to Attend by Lying About Everything

Tour Guide Persuades Prospective Student to Attend by Lying About Everything

Satire- May 17, 2016

Tour guide Krista Reynolds resorted to slightly exaggerating the truth while leading a tour on April 30th, resulting in prospective student Richard Burns putting down ...

New Music Therapy Study Recommends Treating Teenage Depression With Neutral Milk Hotel

New Music Therapy Study Recommends Treating Teenage Depression With Neutral Milk Hotel

Satire- April 25, 2016

A new study conducted by the UD Cognitive Science department has concluded the lo-fi indie rock band Neutral Milk Hotel is a proven treatment for ...

Student Educated Solely on Facebook Memes Ready to Drop Some Knowledge Bombs on Peers

Student Educated Solely on Facebook Memes Ready to Drop Some Knowledge Bombs on Peers

Satire- April 25, 2016

As election season quickly approaches, sophomore Colin Fitz has begun to spend less time organizing his camouflage hat and gun collection and more time eagerly ...

Black Students Bringing Along White Friend Just in Case

Black Students Bringing Along White Friend Just in Case

Satire- April 25, 2016

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsTHE REVIEWGrowing concerns for black students' safety sees many students bringing one white friend along, just in case. BY NATALIE HAYTAYAN CRAZY CAT LADY WITH ...

Senior’s Emo Period in High School Tragically Not a Phase

Senior’s Emo Period in High School Tragically Not a Phase

Satire- April 12, 2016

Senior Alec Maloney retains his identity as a self proclaimed, “emo dude,” disappointing friends and family by proving it to not be a phase.

Professor Asks Only Black Student in Class How He Feels About Professors Asking Only Black Student in Class

Professor Asks Only Black Student in Class How He Feels About Professors Asking Only Black Student in Class

Satire- April 5, 2016

//embedr.flickr.com/assets/client-code.jsThe Review/THE REVIEWIt was here that Miller told the class of white people he was cool with being in a class of white people. BY ...

Honeygrow Becomes Hottest New Spot to Watch Construction Being Delayed

Honeygrow Becomes Hottest New Spot to Watch Construction Being Delayed

Satire- April 5, 2016

Honeygrow has had a very successful grand opening three times in a row. First, in Spring 2015, then Fall 2015 and then in Fall 2016, ...

The Re-Review: Freshman’s Dad Rubs Mom’s Shoulders While Roommate Watches Uncomfortably

The Re-Review: Freshman’s Dad Rubs Mom’s Shoulders While Roommate Watches Uncomfortably

Satire- March 10, 2016

On Friday, Freshman Richard Lewis got changed for his a capella concert in his dorm room while his parents and roommate waited outside. It was ...

The Re-Review: Girl Dating Single Boy

The Re-Review: Girl Dating Single Boy

Satire- March 10, 2016

Sophomore Kasey Reynolds is in an exclusive relationship with single male Dustin Thomas. Reynolds reports that she is both emotionally and physically committed to Thomas, ...