Green Issue Horoscopes: Week of Nov. 19, 2019
Scorpio: Instead of spending all of your time plotting revenge on your archnemesis (I know, they hurt you. I know, they deserve it,) you can choose to volunteer to spend your time doing some garbage clean up or volunteering at a local homeless shelter (poverty and environmentalism are related!)
Sagittarius: Ready for a wild trip? Get out into nature and write about it. If there’s anyone who knows how to appreciate the spontaneity and beauty of nature, it’s YOU.
Capricorn: I know. You’re a grandpa. But next time you check your debit card balance to make sure that you have the most money possible, skip on the receipt. It’s the small things.
Aquarius: You do not need your fairy lights on at all hours of the night. We get it, you’re not like the other girls. Save some electricity and energy, turn those off.
Pisces: Now might be the perfect time to try out vegetarianism for a day. You’ve been reading a lot of articles on it, and your human, emotional side can’t help but feel bad for those animals (and the amount of methane they can produce!) Try it out for a day and if you don’t like it, at least you can say you tried!
Aries: Although everyone knows that you love to drive your flashy red car down Main Street at illegal speeds, consider walking. You’ll save gas money and eliminate a little bit of pollution.
Taurus: You have munchies 24/7, but be sure not to leave your Flamin’ Hot Cheetos bags all over the grass.
Gemini: Switch to showing only one of your faces. You’re using up too much energy.
Cancer: All of your friends know that you love a good, 14-hour nap. Next time you’re in the market for a new blanket, do a little research and try to support a company that makes cozy, climate-conscious products.
Leo: Stop talking about yourself. You’re taking up way too much oxygen.
Virgo: You’ve always wanted to do it, and this is finally your week. It’s time to source your herbs and veggies locally. Set up a small garden on your back porch. We believe in you. You are one with nature.
Libra: Please, for the love of God, recycle your goddamn White Claws.