Mosaic tries something new: Drunk haikus

alcohol
GRACE MCKENNA/THE REVIEW
All in a night’s work.

BY
Professional Haiku Lover

In the spirit of Mosaic’s DRUNK issue and as a professional lover of haikus, I took it upon myself to write haikus while drunk. What follows is a night’s work.

Homecoming
Sixteen, thirty-four
thirty-six. Yes I know how
to watch The Football.

Cold
There are five fingers
in these cozy black mittens.
Also, alcohol.

Hidden
How is there alco-
hol, you ask? Well, there is a
secret compartment.

Sorority
Sometimes, family.
For a family too far
away from here. Cute.

Thoughts on Haikus
It is really hard
to count five, seven, then five
with sangria in hand.

Tailgating
Little blond people
smile at me and say that I’m
always welcome here. 🙂

More thoughts on Haikus

The art of writing
drunk comes from not correcting
All of yoru mistake.

Mountain Dew
Is not a very
delicious drink to dirnk, but
It gets the job done.

The Barn
Not really sure why
this seems so appealing to
me, although it is.

Halloweekend
A good way to min-
imize drunken mistakes is
by combining 2.

Halloweekend cont’d
Holidays into
one weekend, but I’m not sure
it’s working too well.

Juice
Fruit dangles in juice
like some people dangle their
sadness in the air.

Intelligence
Is it really nec-
essary for you to tell
me, again, you’re smart?

Dialogue
Occurs between me
and her, thank you for asking.
Get away from here.

Fanny Pack
A convenient
way to pretend I am not
the biggest mom friend.

Poetry
It’s not writing love
And dreams and hopes and feelings.
It’s expressing them.

Yes1 Pease!
I would love some more
Sangria, but maybe it’s
Not the best choice now.

Plants
Five little cacti
sit on my windowsill, still.
Taunting my brown thumb.

20
Honestly was my
age of enlightenment, I
miss the good old days.

Friendships
Usually require
people to stay in contact
with each other, yeah?

Trees
Little red gardens
Of brown tall stalks, barks like hedge-
hog back-protection.

Stubbed toes
Worse than the time you
walked into her, by the pole.
worse every time.

Colors
Red is a symbol
of power. No wonder we
are blue and yellow.

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