Mosaic’s drunk cookbook

Creative Commons.
Trust me, you’ll regret this.

Managing Mosaic Editor

Drunk eating is pure bliss. You’re heading back to your dorm room, apartment or house at 2 a.m. and you have one thing on your mind: pizza. Or, a burrito. Or, potato chips. Or, leftover pasta.

The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter what you eat — the ending is always the same. Soon enough, you’re splayed across your couch or bed, coming down from a buzz and gluttonously full. You look down at the tomato sauce on your shirt. There’s hummus in your hair.

You’ll regret this.

Well, Mosaic’s all been there. And so, Mosaic took it upon ourselves to compile a list of our favorite “drunchies,” or drunk munchies.

1. Just pour Trader Joe’s Everything but the Bagel Sesame Seasoning Blend or Trader Joe’s Cilantro Salad Dressing on everything in your kitchen. Literally, anything you can find.
2. Grilled peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Exactly like a grilled cheese sandwich, but better.
3. Grilled peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. “I didn’t realize how great this was until my friend made it for me while I was drunk and it blew my mind, at the time.”
4. Toasted bagel with hummus and an egg in the middle.
5. Oatmeal with a spoonful of brown sugar, a lot of chocolate chips and a lot of peanut butter.
6. Microwave a S’mores Pop-Tart and crumble Flamin’ Hot Cheetos on it. “It’s a pretty spiritual experience. You can honestly taste every single flavor. I think you have to be very far gone to enjoy this one, though.”
7. Dip celery in sriracha. It’s like a Bloody Mary, but the alcohol is already in your stomach.
8. Peanut butter by the spoonful.
9. Microwave shredded cheese on top of tortilla chips for 20 seconds or so, eating the shredded cheese straight from the bag for the 20 seconds of microwaving.

Drink (and eat) responsibly, folks.

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