Opinion: There’s only room for one orange behemoth in the White House, and his name’s not Donald Trump

BY
Copy Desk Chief

gritty standing Courtesy of Bridget Dolan
Copy Desk Chief Bridget Dolan makes the case for Gritty to run in 2020.

Gritty has the power.

Well, he could. Possibly. If Gritty were to fully embrace his anti-fascist branding and overthrow our current Commander in Chief, then he would have the power. And it could be great.

America is not great; America never was great. But America could be, if it acknowledged that Gritty is the only orange beast that should be in the Oval Office.

Gritty is a worker, and that carries an appeal. Much like how Jimmy Carter endeared himself to America by showing that he was also a working man, Gritty has endeared himself to the internet and beyond as both an antifa icon and a living meme.

Gritty is relatable, Gritty is fun and Gritty has grit.

One look into Gritty’s eyes tells you that Gritty has never felt fear since the day he was born. Gritty would stare down Vladimir Putin and then send him flying with one bounce from his belly. Gritty would welcome immigrants — he has no issue with non-Americans, as evidenced by his abundant love for Claude Giroux, a known Canadian.

You know what Gritty wouldn’t approve? Throwing tear gas at children at the border. Gritty is about love; Gritty has shown love to people he didn’t know (although they were Flyers fans). Gritty wouldn’t try to build a border wall, either. Gritty would be more focused on making sure there’s enough cheesesteak to go around. After all, all those people at the border? Potential Flyers fans.

Gritty does not potentially have illegal dealings with Russia, and Gritty has not tried to take away health care. Gritty once dumped popcorn on a Rangers fan, but he did not deny climate change. Gritty has never really done anything that seriously harmed anyone, not like the current president has.

And unlike the White House’s current inhabitant, he graciously agreed to an interview with Time Magazine and has been honored and embraced by the Philadelphia Inquirer — the “fake news,” according to Donald Trump.

Gritty shows up to work at every Flyers home game, and he even makes an appearance for some away games and other events. He puts in the time and effort, and he’s there in the stands, connecting with people.

Gritty was honored with a resolution by Philadelphia City Council. Can Trump say the same? I don’t think so.

Wherever Gritty goes, he has been welcomed. Even people who are not Flyers fans have come to love him — Gritty goes beyond ideological divides and unites the people.

Gritty may have a home in Philadelphia, but we need him in D.C.

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