Satire: Joe Biden announces he is running

natalie haytayan satire pieceNatalie Haytayan/THE REVIEW
Joe Biden has announced that he is running, but what exactly is he running for?

BY
Staff Writer

For the past year, former Vice President Joe Biden has been rumored to be considering a run for the 2020 presidency. Although no official statement has been released, Biden has hinted at the highly anticipated campaign, leaving his fans eager for his official announcement.

“He’s been talking about running at every event I’ve been to,” Jessy Wenner, a student at the university, says. “I just want him to announce already.”

After months of anticipation, the Biden team has finally released a statement addressing the rumors.

“I’m so sorry about the confusion,” a personal trainer from Biden’s fitness team says. “This whole time, we thought we were all on the same page. Biden is running for weight loss — his health is top priority.”

Still, no official statement has been released from Biden himself. However, he did release a tweet that is causing some to speculate:

“I’m so #bloated rn.”

After all the confusion, no one knows what we can expect in 2020. With Biden running for weight loss, the Democratic Party is left wondering, “Why doesn’t he just try Weight Watchers?”

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