Unfiltered Commentary: A tribute to my sorority lineage
ASSISTANT MOSAIC EDITOR
It’s weird to think I didn’t want to share her at first. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe I was just scared she’d like them more than me or that she’d forget about me, or worse — they’d forget about me. Maybe I thought that the dynamic was about to get way too diverse and that everything would just fall apart or that none of us would get along.
I don’t know why I thought that.
That was over a year ago.
Now I share my little with not only her two littles but also their littles. That makes us a sorority family of six current sisters. It turns out that not only do we get along without the new additions, but the new additions fit perfectly into the love fest that has become our family lineage.
You see, I was just nervous. It started out as just my big and I, but then she graduated. You see, I just was anxious about expansion, but it turns out I have a lot more love than I thought I already had to give.
Now I feel as though I’ll never love them enough. You see, every day I find I fall in love with them more than the day before.
It’s weird, you know? Thinking that soon I’ll leave what has become my family tree — something I always wanted so badly, but had to wait all of college to finally have. It’s become a core college memory — not a memory, but these friendships have become ones that are the most meaningful to me. You see — my little, my grand littles and my great-grand littles — they weren’t told to become my best friends, it just happened that they became just that.
Somewhere in between years of big/little reveal and scheduled in family dinners, hangouts just became a regular thing — an everyday thing actually. Now, it’s just weird if I don’t see them every day. It’s weird if I don’t get a text or a call from each of them. And it’s every day that I find myself talking about them with a sense of motherly pride.
They’ve become my favorite humans — the ones who know those deep dark secrets about you, the ones who know if you need them without you saying it and the ones who just know how to be there for you.
It’s beautiful. It’s really beautiful to feel that a sorority “family” becomes a real one.
I worry, unnecessarily, that they’ll forget me. That they’ll move on and my great-grand littles will get littles and everything will just fall apart. That the family will expand — not in a way that keeps it all together — but the way that my family will break into two families with constant expansion and lose sight of the fact that I once started all of this — the fact that this isn’t what is supposed to happen.
The fact that this — that all of these people hand chosen to join our family — all of these people whose personalities are so similarly and differently matched to fit into and magnetize against each other the most perfect of ways will forget their roots.
I worry — unnecessarily. I can’t help it, you know? I just have too much love in my heart to say goodbye… but it’s not goodbye really.
Families exceed all bounds. They don’t let distance interfere — and that’s what I plan to do: not let distance interfere.
I waited all of college for this moment, to find the ones that make saying goodbye just that hard — it’s beautiful really — the way goodbye hurts so much.
But my family lineage is something I’ll have forever — these people are ones I’ll have forever, I’m so sure about it, you see, I’m not nervous about it at all.