BY WYATT PATTERSON
Managing Mosaic Editor
Aquarius: Stop romanticizing that one random person that you keep bumping into on campus. It’s not fate, you just have similar schedules. Calm down.
Pisces: You won’t establish the deep, emotional connection you’re looking for in the basement of a frat house. That’s what women’s bathrooms are for.
Aries: You probably shouldn’t tell anyone just how hilarious you think the BB gun bandit was, and how much you miss those UDPD notifications.
Taurus: You’re telling me that you have all those cute back-to-school outfits and you’ve still decided on pajamas for class? Pop off, I guess.
Gemini: You STILL haven’t bought your required textbooks? Well… I suppose you’ve made it this far without them. Keep up the good work.
Cancer: Tell your friends that rely on you for emotional support to go to therapy. Actually, you should probably go too, while we’re at it.
Leo: Taylor Swift is releasing a new album in October. If you listen, I guarantee you will make it your entire personality. You’ve been warned.
Virgo: Stop trying to be cool by pretending you don’t like pumpkin spice lattes. We all like pumpkin spice lattes. It’s a universal truth.
Libra: This week, you will decide to personally take on global warming. Climate change has delayed sweater weather for the last time.
Scorpio: Coming down from the high of your hot girl summer isn’t going to be easy. Give yourself some grace during this time as you transition to sad girl autumn.
Sagittarius: I know it’s tempting to return to those god awful energy drinks as homework piles up, but stay strong. I believe in you.
Capricorn: Another semester, another chance to seek academic validation from professors that you don’t like in classes that you don’t care about.
