BY DANNY TULL
Ready to find out which university mascot you are?
Read the scenarios and answer the following questions. Each answer has a number of points indicated beside it. At the end of the quiz, total your points to reveal your perfect university mascot match. Good luck!
You’re a college mascot and have just finished spreading your special brand of chaos in Perkins Student Center. On your way out, you grab a donut and coffee from Dunkin’. Suddenly, you see a university shuttle that has lost control begin to zoom towards a campus tour group!
Question 1. When dealing with the runaway shuttle you would…
- Ignore it and keep on moving. (1)
- Smile and wave at the tourists, distracting them from their tragic, high-speed fate. (2)
- Yell out to the tour group to warn them. (3)
- Call the UDPD. (4)
- Take pictures of the event for the eventual report. (5)
Everyone is okay, but intervening with the runaway shuttle has made you hungry. As the tour group passes Caesar Rodney Dining Hall, someone in the tour asks, “Where’s the best place to eat here?” The tour guide grins and says that every place on campus has amazing food. You know this to be false, and once again your mascot intuition kicks in and you must make a quick decision.
Question 2. You would decide to…
- Jump into the conversation and tell them that the tour guide is leading them astray. The only way to dine is on Main Street at the popular spots Five Guys, Mochinut, El Diablo and Qdoba. (1)
- Be quiet because the conversation has nothing to do with you. (2)
- Start bothering other members in the group to amuse yourself. (3)
Question 3. While you’re at it, what study spots on campus do you recommend for future students?
A. The Green. (1)
B. The goat statues outside of Caesar Rodney. It’s quiet and peaceful and you’re isolated from the hustle of campus. (2)
C. Your dorm. Nothing is quite like being in your own personal space. (3)
D. Perkins Student Center or Trabant Student Center. They are great places for studying and conversing with other students. (4)
Unfortunately, the tour guide chases you away, apparently unappreciative of your advice. You then go about your day and make your way up to the South Green. The sun is out and everyone is engaging in summertime shenanigans. You want to join the fun, but you have an exam tomorrow and know you can’t study later!
Question 4. Do you choose to have fun or take care of business first?
- Have fun. There will be more exams but only a few more real nice days. (1)
- Study for your exam. (2)
- You don’t like the sun, you burn up real bad and become redder than the brick buildings. (3)
- Set a timer to go off after 30 minutes so that you are able to stay on track. (4)
If you choose to study for the exam, you miss out on the fun. You end up spending the rest of your semester miserable, but at least you have a 4.5 GPA.
If you decide to hang out with your peers, you end up having a blast. Later, you use ChatGPT to create a study sheet. See, there’s a compromise.
Congrats on completing your university mascot evaluation! To find out which mascot you’re destined to become, refer to the list below and tally your points.
YoUDee (4-5 points)
You enjoy being around people and love to make people laugh. You are a master at hide-and-seek. Sometimes you choose comedy at the expense of others, but it all comes from a place of love.
Baby Blue (6-7 points)
You’re tiny but mighty! No one can rival your school spirit. However, you are much more kindhearted than your older sibling, YoUDee. You prefer giving hugs, partying, having fun and only occasionally pranking students.
Main Street Rat (8-9 points)
Your mysterious nature sparks students’ curiosity. You randomly appear… then vanish. You have a larger than life personality and people can’t help but be sucked in by your charm. And you look scary.
Campus Squirrel (10-12 points)
You can be found scurrying around campus, like a weirdo. You rank ninth place on Gaby Nieves’(CONF.) article, “Satire: The university’s top 10 hottest celebrities”,(CONF.). Even though you have a nutty personality, the fact that you have no care about people seeing you eat from the trash is refreshing. You are uniquely yourself.
Kirkbride Jesus (13-14 points)
Students don’t care much for you and for a good reason. You’re a bit rude and harrass people even if they are not interested. The way you go about reaching out to students feels disingenuous. You come off as judgy and untrustworthy. Do better.
Wings of Thought (Memorial Book) (15-16 points )
You’re just gross. When students learn about your secret, they are disgusted. You have been covered in cheese, among other things, for weeks. Go take a shower. Your only redeeming qualities are that you have a solid exterior and provide knowledge to those that know you.