Saturday, December 3, 2022

Satire: Last-minute course offerings for Fall 2022

MosaicSatire: Last-minute course offerings for Fall 2022

BY NADYA ELLERHORST
Staff Writer




AAH 101: Introduction to Lanternfly Smooshing

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, you silly Blue Hen — it’s just campus’s favorite invasive species: Lycorma delicatula, or the spotted lanternfly. This course will familiarize students with effective methods for explaining to out-of-state friends and family why it is perfectly acceptable to kill the “pretty bugs.”

BRD 456: Fear the Bird: The Psychology of YoUDee

This course will explore reasons as to why YoUDee perpetually appears and disappears at university events and covers theories as to where the mysterious mascot hides/nests/roosts when not in view. Students will also learn tactics for avoiding YoUDee at campus functions, including but not limited to freezing up, pretending to check one’s phone and avoiding eye contact no matter how close YoUDee invades one’s personal space. By the end of the course, students will feel comfortable hugging YoUDee for a photo.

Note: BRD 211: The Origins of Baby Blue recommended but not required prerequisite.

RUN 486: Jaywalking Practicum

This course seeks to refine skills pertaining to the university’s unofficial past time using firsthand experience. Each section of the course will meet at a different crosswalk on a rotating schedule. Class participation will be a core component of final grade and students are encouraged to wear shoes they can comfortably jog in.

WHL 146: Skateboarders and Society

It’s a sound heard more frequently than the carillon: the clack-clack-clack of wheels rolling along the hallowed bricks of the Green as skateboarding individuals meander through clusters of strolling students. Students will come away with the ability to know from which direction a skateboarder will attempt to pass them without having to look up from their phones.

YUM 210: The Meal Exchange

The University of Delaware plays host to three dining establishments serving an array of foods, from custom burgers to salads. Yet come evening, Perkins Student Center and Trabant University Center are filled with students lined up to pick up grease-speckled bags bearing the emblems of national food chains. This course will cover an array of topics, from menu nuances to effective methods of placing your GrubHub order when the clock strikes 5 p.m.. Meets M-F from 5 p.m. to 10:45 p.m. Thanking the people who prepare your food is an expectation.

Note: Crosslisted with EAT 210: The Meal Exchange

CAR 357: Vroom-Vroom Studies

This course seeks to answer the question as to why drivers feel the need to remind wide swaths of the Newark community that their engines are indeed in working order, specifically at the oddest hours of night. Meets at 2 a.m. on weeknights before important exams outside Trabant University Center, although class location may move to accommodate areas with particularly large amounts of sleeping individuals. Ear plugs not provided.

MNY 289: From B&N to 5&10: The Economics of Spirit Wear

In one location, a t-shirt bearing the mere insignia of “Delaware” rings up at approximately half the cost of out-of-state tuition. Mere steps away, the same t-shirt is priced cheaper than a Grotto’s pizza. This course will examine Main Street spirit wear phenomena, including the benefits and drawbacks of polyester. Field trips to both the B&N Bookstore and National 5 & 10 will be taken. No purchase necessary.

HOT 212: Newark’s Weather

Newark is a meteorological anomaly. One day students run the risk of heatstroke walking across the Green only to shiver under eight layers of sweatshirts and blankets the next. Students will learn the underlying causes for their immediate sweating upon stepping outside, why they can occasionally wear shorts and host picnics in March, and more. Students will also learn how to effectively pack for every — and we mean every — type of weather in a manner that will accommodate even the smallest of dorm closets.

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