Sunday, March 3, 2024

Satire

Satire: The university’s top 10 hottest celebrities

The university is home to many famous names, all well-known to the student body. In the form of a completely serious and objective list, Co-Managing Mosaic Editor Gaby Nieves ranks the top ten hottest of your favorite campus celebrities.

Satire: Why SZA was at the Lil Bob (wrong answers only)

The widely adored and famously talented singer, SZA, has been spotted out in public! In … Delaware? At … the university? Many students are suspecting that SZA was here to film a music video, but Co-Managing Mosaic Editor Gaby Nieves has a couple other possible reasons in mind for her visit.

The Rocks for Jocks prank

Geology is a famous class at the university due to its supposedly easy content and self-explanatory exams. It is a popular way to fulfill the university’s laboratory requirements and the environmental and marine science degree requirements. Shayna Demick shares some wisdom about expecting to take this infamous class, known as “rocks for jocks,” and what actually happens when you blow off the wrong blow-off class.

Satire: UFO spotted above Newark

The city of Newark is once again facing shenanigans as a student claims to have seen a UFO patrolling the night sky. Staff Reporter Steven Norris interviews the student in question along with an expert at the university to gain more insight about this jarring report.

Satire: Holiday wish list (realistic)

While holiday wish lists vary from person to person, your wish list must be concise and thoughtful if you are to maximize the benefits of commercialized holidays. Co-Managing Mosaic Editor Shayna Demick shares with you the proper way to make a wish list so you can have a fruitful gift haul this holiday season.

Satire: A guide to all the best sights on the university’s campus

Staff Reporter Caroline Powell comments on all of the sites and attractions the university and the city of Newark has to offer. From the Green to Kirkbride Jesus, Powell points out all the can’t-miss places and people.

Satire: Jaywalking? More like slaywalking

What’s the best way to get around campus, according to Co-Managing Mosaic Editor Shayna Demick? Slaywalking, a tactical form of jaywalking that requires an understanding of intersection/traffic dynamics and alternate routes, as well as spatial awareness, confidence, style and swag.

Satire: The university has a hole problem

The brick stealing tradition returned for another school year. The holes left by the tradition caused a great amount of distress for the members of the community.

Satire: Assanis Levine

Illustrator Danny Tull parodies the Adam Levine scandal and how President Dennis Assanis might be involved.

Ground-breaking news: Brick thieves return to campus (satire)

Opinion Columnist Shayna Demick investigates the brick-stealing phenomenon that has the campus dissolving before our very eyes.

Satire: The seven stages of getting hit on by a man as a lesbian

Staff Writer Stephanie Maria describes the seven stages of getting hit on by a man as a lesbian.

Satire: Last-minute course offerings for Fall 2022

From a jaywalking practicum to a class on Newark’s strange weather patterns, check out the latest classes the university is offering this semester.

Satire: Another brick in the HyFlex classroom wall

I have never found “The Truman Show” so profound until now.

To study abroad, or…

All it takes is a little imagination to recreate a study abroad experience in the comfort of your home or dorm.
HomeSatire